On a day like today

Its been some time now… A day or two and many hours. The anger is settling in my veins. I feel a deep sense of desperation, loss — a festering wound sore and refusing to heal. Like everytime the medication gets washed away by new waves of salt that rubs itself deep enough to leave the pain engraved on my heart. I can feel the pattering raindrops, the footsteps lightly treading behind me– ready to grab if I stop running, though I am too tired to move any more. I’m surrounded by voices- loud, cheerful HAPPY ones. I want speak those voices, but where would you go, if your vocal chords no longer cooperate with you. How much deeper must I sink before all trace of me vanishes? How much longer?
My friends want to drag me to a hill station- they think a change of place will lighten my mood. Do they understand what I feel? Can they feel my void, my burden, my guilt? Might I cry tears of sodom with the streams, might my soul become whisps of translucent air? Might I want to embrace life? Might I be blessed with the strength so many people believe I have.

2 thoughts on “On a day like today

  1. We don’t sink through the depths of life, but scale heights of life through blood, sweat and tears to realize ourselves…some do have more than their fair share of troubles but that is the way for talent to develop, never heard of talent blossoming from silver spoons…but why you?, perhaps because nobody else can take what u DO or CAN.

    My gratitude for your company, love, spat, clarification…what would I give for that 20 minute laughter of yours again? Actually light a dope again, I guess.

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