The right to not be ‘Accomplished’


I think its a dying right and ought to be protested, Loudly and vociferously. I’m going to go ahead and say this potentially offensive thing – all women (urban-rural, tall-short, old-young, literate or not, bright-stupid, pretty-pretty ugly) have the right to undiminished self respect and regard from fellow human beings that is NOT contingent on their accomplishments.

From the moment they are born till they die women are in a race – a race to cook the best, look the best, remember and execute perfectly, if educated then be a top 10 percenter, if working then earn enough and be a top performer at the same time. Women also need to ease themselves into being great partners, great bosses and great mom’s without the slightest friction. They have to be great caregivers and know directions as well as an awesome¬†Smartphone navigation tool. They need to be musically talented, intellectually stimulating and rise early. And they have to be this ALL THE TIME. This is the stereotype of the ‘modern woman’. The ideal we are all quietly pressurizing ourselves into conforming to.

And what if you’re not IT? Your body isn’t perfect, you have a tyre or two, your eyes buldge and are bloodshot a little. You read but don’t necessarily remember and accurately recall every word. You cook because you have to but aren’t the next Master Chef contender. You remember as much as you can but also forget a lot. You make lists then you forget where you put them. You won’t get lost but you can’t necessarily divine a destination and drive there unprepared. Then you are what you already know you are. UNACCOMPLISHED. You are a slob bemoaning the fact that work never finds you and you live in pyjamas. Lo and behold – you have turned into the very thing all modern women are socialized into running away from. You are just not worthwhile. You will never be one of the women who are saluted to subtle shades of pink on the 5th of March every year. You just aren’t there. You are not IT.

Pull up your socks woman – what will people think of you? Even the partially accomplished are better. Take a look around. Your neighbour who is both pretty and pretty-accomplished. She makes a¬†divine South Indian cuisine despite being absolutely East Indian even if that is all she does. This is the type of woman you must emulate. And your pyjamas — get rid of them. Where is your womanhood? Women are meant to be IT – quiet, sweet, ordered about, never scatter-brained- you are less than a woman. Did I mention less than a woman? I meant less than human.